Wanna Go Out With Me?

I know the title of this post seems a direct contradiction to the last one. Not so, oh sweet morsels of the Interwebs. Not so.

There is a difference between consentual and mutually pleasurable interaction between people and just all-out objectification. But I feel like I should explain that post seperately. And I will. So, keep looking.

But in an attempt to avoid doing homework for just a little longer, I will post here a few ideas I have for fun, inexpensive and often satirical date ideas. These work between friends, or if you have a sweetheart. They're just fun ways for a dynamic twosome of any kind to spend an evening.

1. The Archie Comics Date

Wardrobe: Poodle skirts, letterman jackets, white t-shirts, penny loafers, horn-rimmed glasses.

Procedure:

Person one picks up person two in their car. If possible, shake hands with parents.

Go to drive in. Share one milkshake with two straws.

Catch a cute romantic comedy in the theatres. Both enjoy it without irony.

Person one takes person two home before curfew is up. Kiss optional.

2. The Worst Date Ever

Wardrobe: jeans, hoodies. Underwear not required.

Procedure:

Meet at corner store. Get slushies. Sit down on the curb outside the store until you finish them.

Go to the video rental place and take out the worst movie for a date ever. Suggestions are: Hot Tub Time Machine, Superman IV, It, and Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

Swing by McDonalds, grab some nasty food.

Go home and watch the movie while eating nasty food. Coitus is proposed by asking, "Wanna doink?"

NOTE: This date should only happen between people who actually really like each other and are doing it for funsies.

3. The Closet Classy Date

Wardrobe: That old grad dress or suit you haven't worn since, well, grad. One or both parties gets all made up as well.

Set up a picnic blanket and some candles in the bedroom, on the floor.

Cook (or order in if you're kitchenphobic) a really schmanzy dinner. Get pretentious and ingredient-snobby about it.

Serve and eat it in your bedroom picnicing spot. Gaze at each other lovingly in the candlelight.