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Alors,

For my regular readers (hi mum), I thought I'd give you a bit of a summary of what has been happening in the Geeniverse lately. The answer in short is school. And that isn't particularly interesting. So, class by class, here we go:

Singing: Not too much. Singing old English love songs about bonny lasses and such.

Voice: Shakespeare, Shakespeare, Shakespeare. It's delightful, really. And for once, I am not too afraid of looking like a dumbass. So, I take a few more risks and get involved. There is no such thing passivity with ol' Bill. I sat on a wall for about a thousand mental years to know this. You can be utterly silent and the most attentive character in the scene. Bystanders are some of the most important people in drama. I have also made very, very good friends with Adriana from Comedy of Errors. She and I would be pals. And I can now breathe properly.

Acting: To quote an exchange I've had with my friend Alex:
"I'M A SEAGULL!"
"Shut up, Nina."
Ca-caw! We are delving into Chekhov, and it is such a departure from Shakespeare. It feels like there is a railway switchman, Petit Prince-style, going from verse to naturalism. Feel it, act between the lines, act in your line, act when others are talking. It is so full of energy, and there is so much detail despite the fact that the language is concise. Often perplexing . And I am playing Masha, the woman I understand the least. But I've been wearing more black and mentally gaining about fifteen pounds before entering. The snuff and alcoholism? Not so much.

Movement: It is becoming less of a constant reminder of my deficiency of grace and more of a learning experience. It's easier now that it is contemporary dance and not ballet. Ballet was maddening. I find that contemporary and I are pals. We are also creating a dance/movement study from a painting. I picked - in retrospect, quite naively - Picasso's Guernica. It is heartbreaking, enraging and exhausting. I am also using a piece of Yann Tiersen's music in which a violin is not so much played, but tortured. Oh, goodness gracious. I can't spend more than fifteen minutes a time creating it. More like GRRRRRnica.

I am also in a small show and still working in radio, but those will merit their own posts later.


And that is all for now. I should probably do some real work, now...

Taking Credit and Taking Charge

I always find it difficult to take compliments for work that I have done and I can detach from criticism. I just don't feel like I own the product. At the same time, however, I feel proud of what I have done.

I've been reading Leonard Nimoy's I Am Spock, which is great if you want lots of Star Trek Trivia. But, at the same time, he spends much of the book talking about his relationship to "the pointy-eared guy", and how Spock has helped Nimoy to be successful. There are debates between the actor and the character over who should take credit for a compliment. Nimoy also has countless stories about going to the writers and producers to change scenes to adhere better to the essence of a character. If he was given a story line that required Spock to fall in love, for instance, Nimoy needed good reasons for an emotionless character to feel this.

It's an important thing to remember, and I've heard many directors say it: when all is said and done, the storyteller with the closest connection to the audience is the actor. After rehearsal, it's all about the people onstage. And in film, the lasting product that we see is the performance that the actor has given. There is, of course, less control in this process due to editing and such. You always identify with the actor however.

Considering that, I agree with Nimoy's insistence on keeping the character straight. I am sure some of the writers must have wanted to strangle him at times, but I feel I would do the same thing. The actor is the guardian of his character. Especially in a television setting, consistency is important.

And just one little note: it is also interesting to go from William Shatner's Up Till Now to I Am Spock, just based on their retelling of some of the same events, including Shatner's on-set pranking. They are very different people and especially different actors, and this has made for quite the extracurricular study session!

Great

Isn't it wonderful when you have a moment when you stop doing and start being? I was brushing my teeth this morning and was suddenly hit with the realization of the fact that I am alive. I am a living being.

So, no. Maybe this is not a life-changing epiphany. But, damn, is it nice to know. No matter what happens to my poor little ego, I will always be able to breathe and my body will still be warm. And what possibilities come with being alive! Really: what on earth can't I do? I'm just, perhaps, not willing to do some of it, or waiting to be ready to do others.

Aren't we lucky to be here? You and me? To have loves that brings us to our knees and makes time invisible. Even to eat, and to be kissed, and to laugh! Oh, goodness. Even to fall and bleed. To make friends and to find enemies.

How is it that my blog entries start off semi-normal and end up being very obnoxious rants where I wax poetic about nearly everything? I am so silly. My muse is probably a Sapphic re-incarnate...

Today I did the best in-character imporov that I have ever done. The whole situation felt very real and I fell into the character as one does with a script. You know that feeling? When everything feels dangerous and real, but the sliver of the actor left in you feels safe knowing where this scene is going to go. Roughly. The rest is up to greatness.