Thursday, August 19, 2010

Impending ... something

My dear girl, this is the beginning of the rest of your life.

So, what were the past twenty-odd years, then?
Dress rehearsal.

I'm getting very reflective in the shadow of the last year of my degree. It is there, it's gonna happen, but ... it's that feeling of being at the starting gate. All at once, I want to bolt and rush through it, and just go balls to the wall - and I also want to just go home and have my mum make me eggs.

That's not atypical, and I'm aware. But the world is constantly expanding, and it is getting rather scary. The last year of Uni is not exactly a Hallmark-worthy milestone, but it feels big. Fourth year in the theatre department is a big deal. You're given a lot more responsibility and individual projects, so the stakes get higher. And there's the shallow part where in that world, you're a bit of a celebrity. Not hugely, but people know who you are and they pay attention to you.
In moments like these, I also see the years of my life spread in front of me. I can see the next few. You know, graduating, working ... moving. Perhaps fall in .... love? (Do we still call it that?)
These shapes are all blurred at the edges. I get them in theory. And then, the rest of it all stretches ahead into notions and then all I can see is that little vanishing point on the horizon.
I know it is there, and that's exhilarating. Beautiful, and shit yourself scary.


All this from buying a textbook. Seriously.


I'll get into something less "AHHHH LIFE IS SCARY" and something more food-related or perhaps the artsy poetry I'm getting known for.

I think it is now the time to reward you with something just as wow-enducing as life.

Dolly Parton. With Disney Characters.


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